As the old saying goes there’s no such thing as bad publicity as long as they spell your name right. Which, without being excessively cynical, is probably the way to view this little story that Mel B and Geri Horner once had one of those steamy lesbo flings. For, as you’ll not be surprised to hear, the story is all over the place. Even the story of Mel B playing it down is all over the place.
And, amazingly, the stories mention that the Spice Girls have reunited and are on tour again. Amazing that, isn’t it?
Geri Horner appears stony-faced as she emerges amid Mel B sex drama… after her Spice Girls bandmate ‘smoothed things over’
Isn’t that actually the story, fnarr, fnarr – that something was being smoothed over? And this, who could believe this?
Then there’s the fact that Mel B appears to be cynically using lesbianism as a PR strategy. The Spice Girls are going on a reunion tour this summer. Victoria Beckham, the only Currently Relevant Spice won’t be on this tour, so it seems the Not So Relevant Spices are doing anything that will get them attention. And lesbianism always seems to be a good way to get people’s attention (just look at the explosion of fake lesbians in film).
But, but, a manufactured girl band would never do something like that, would they?
Sources say Gezzer plans to deny having a roll in the hay with Mel, however, she did once admit she’d had a lesbian encounter with a famous woman. Awkwardly for Mel, she also admitted it was enough to put her off women for life.
Well, that’s amusing at least. Still, at least we all know the Spice Girls are touring this summer, right? And if we don’t then no doubt we will after the revelation that Sporty once rode Eeyore to the finish line, fnarr, fnarr, and that Baby shares a pad on Leicester Square with Chris Moyles, hint hint.
That last one’s true too.