Swallow Your Pine Cone

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I have previously written about how the EU hopes to achieve the outcome they wargamed and agreed with their pets in the europhile British establishment, and the process they are following.

As a quick reminder……….

Once Britain voted to leave, the EU worked to produce a treaty that we could be forced to sign that would trap us in the EU indefinitely. As is the wont of all politicians and bureaucrats, whenever they produce something truly awful, they tend to name it as misleadingly as possible.

Plop a British europhile bureaucrat down in 1934 Berlin and he would have suggested to his Fuhrer that “The Night of The Long Knives” be packaged as “A Cordial Evening With Canapes And Superfluous Cutlery”

So when working out what to call our permanent shackling to the EU’s rotting and tyrannical carcass, they naturally alighted upon “The Withdrawal Agreement”.

Which involves no actual withdrawal.

But of course they knew a deal this bad would have considerable opposition, so they did what all seasoned negotiators do when trying to get their victim to swallow a pine cone.

They demand that they swallow razor blades instead.

The resulting cacophony of horrified and furious anger can then be politely enjoyed while you metaphorically file your nails with your feet up on the desk.

Your victim’s desperate attempts to convince you to move to a more reasonable position can then be characterised as a wholly unreasonable series of demands, that you can slowly accede to while building in their mind the narrative that while they are always making demands, you are always granting concessions.

Eventually, your bamboozled victim begs to be allowed to swallow your pine cone and you can pretend to reluctantly allow it.

Done well, your victim will not only pretend to enjoy the pine cone – he will be completely unaware that you don’t even own any razor blades.

And that’s what the EU and the British establishment have laboured to produce from our MPs and voters, these last months.

How much or how little the rest of the British establishment understands of this deception is impossible to know. Did David Davis see it unfurling? Dominic Raab?

Did Jacob Rees-Mogg or Daniel Hannan see it coming, or realise once it was underway?

Or are they all even now bewildered by these events?

I’ve no idea. If they know, they aren’t saying. Their public commentary suggests it is dawning on them very late, if at all.

No matter – here we stand, finally, after many false starts (we will perhaps never know whether the sudden delay from the March 29th was always planned or was forced upon them by some last-minute defections) on the brink of the EU’s chosen emissary delivering the pine cone for us to gratefully swallow.

Olly Robbins.

That’s right – poor old Theresa isn’t even going to be allowed to wave a bit of paper in faux triumph. That honor is being given to Comrade Robbins.

He will instead be the one lauded for the triumph of bringing this nauseating charade to a close – it will be he that returns “victorious” with a deal from Brussels. With European elections so close, and a Farage Clone Army ready to be unleashed by the furious British voter (at least those of us not stupefied by the EU and their pet mainstream media) this final draft of the Withdrawal Agreement will probably have to come pre-approved by the EU, like a high-interest credit card sent in the post to a gullible imbecile of questionable character and means.

I can see the EU’s oleaginous statement now “We have worked hard to accommodate Britain’s contradictory and poorly-communicated needs, and feel that we have done the very most that even the bestest of friends would reasonably be asked to provide – this offer is extended in a comradely manner and the hope that British MPs will not allow the extremists in their midst to compromise the security of Britain and the economic welfare of future generations”

In other words – “Sign here, bitch”

You’ll notice I expect the EUSSR to slip in the word “comrade”, just for their own delight.

How will our treacherous MPs react?

The ERG and the DUP may continue to resist – perhaps thirty of them in total.

But it won’t matter – the EU and their moles within the British establishment know that there are perhaps fifty Labour europhiles ready and willing to cross the house and vote the Withdrawal Agreement through.

Country before party, they will say.

Which explains the last few weeks – the talks with Labour were always just a trap laid for Jeremy Corbyn. An attempt to get him to publicly betray a big chunk of his party by talking with the enemy. One Theresa May knew she could set, aware her little scheme at last had the votes it needed from the benches behind him.

How surprised will poor old Jeremy be when fifty of his peers betray him I wonder?

Probably not very – he must know a big chunk of his party thinks that he has made Labour unelectable.

And poor old Nigel Farage – he seems oblivious. He honestly believes his new party will be allowed to fight in the European elections, when of course they will whip it away at the last moment and leave his Clone Army standing forlornly on the platform as the train pulls away.

Farage made to look like a fool.
Corbyn made to look like a collaborator.
Brexiteers made to look like extremists.
Comrade Robbins made to look like the touchdown hero.
And Theresa May made to look like the exhausted Brexit quarterback.

The March Through Our Institutions is complete, and the EU are using their placemen to shepherd us into their electrified holding pen.