Great, So That’s Society Perfected – No Major Problems Left

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It was Bernard Levin who applauded a case at the Advertising Standards Commission. It was over a crisps manufacturer claiming that they had the crunchiest crisps on the market. The ASC (or it is ASA? Really, can’t be bothered to look it up) decided that this would not do. Where is your proof that you are the crunchiest? Can we see the science? Should we conduct our own?

Levin took this as a sign of how fortunate we are. That actual grown adults worry over the verity of the claims of a carnival barker means that society must be so rich, so fortunate, as to simply not have any major problems left. And by historical or global standards this is entirely true, we didn’t back in the 80s when he wrote and we don’t now. This is why the shrieks from the left are so intemperate. We have solved the problem of actual poverty. The only people without a roof over their heads are the loons who won’t come in out of the rain. Anyone compos mentis can and will fine a nourishing meal somewhere each and every day. Might be in the crypt of a church, might be from the kindness of strangers but actual hunger to the point of starvation just doesn’t exist. Thus the greater screaming over the scrap remnants of these problems for capitalism, even though it solved those very problems, must still be overturned.

And so on and on, we worry about the Welsh marauding to the race meeting – in Bath at least – not to yakki da us with slaughter and rapine. Slavery these days isn’t chattel of millions, it’s £8 an hour in a warehouse.

Now we’ve further useful evidence:

Maxine Benson MBE, co-founder of Everywoman Ltd, an organisation that campaigns to advance women in business, said: “The LAA does have a 50/50 board – so I am hopeful that there is an awareness that the voice , experience and insight of women needs to be included in the future of the LAA.”

Must be something serious then. What’s it about then?

“Dear Sir” has been dropped by the Ministry of Justice’s automated response to legal aid claimants following a complaint. All correspondence sent out by the Legal Aid Agency (LAA) – part of the Ministry of Justice – will now begin with: “To whom it may concern”.

Dear Sir being, of course, sexist.

Thus we must live in a country with no real problems. For no adult would ever concern themselves with such triviality unless we’d actually solved Simon Cowell now, would they?