From a menu of options at a Pompeiian House of Fun - Public Domain

The Observer can and does puzzle us at times. Take this headline:

Don’t take sex off the screen, but offer actors protection

Our own knowledge of this area – of all forms of cinema – is pretty sketchy we admit. But we’re pretty sure that it’s only a distinct subset of the acting profession that usually requires protection when shooting a sex scene. Precisely and exactly the subset that doesn’t use it too.