Yum, Yum, Greasy Fried Chicken Flavour Bonking

Doesn’t this just sound like the most appealing of all bonking activities? A freebie “sexual favour” in return for some free fried chicken? Presumably, given the way these transactions normally work, the chicken coming first and adding to the flavour – possibly the lubrication – of the act:

A woman racially abused a takeaway worker when he refused to trade fried chicken for sexual favours. Kelly Fielding spat at police in Chesters Chicken, Wythenshawe, after demanding free food just after midnight. The 31-year-old had abused takeaway staff – branding one a ‘f****** p*** c***’ when they refused to give in to her demands.

We must assume that drink had been taken. Hope at least. And be grateful that the sexual favour had been declined before the spitting at the police bit.

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So they booked her for soliciting?