Quasimodo Singed, Esmeralda Missing As Notre Dame In Flames

Notre Dame Cathedral has gone up in flames, bringing down the roof and the spire. Varied potential jokes present themselves in embryo – Quasimodo didn’t leave the building for that post-coital puff after finally gaining Esmeralda maybe. God has an issue with Macron’s perversions over Brexit perhaps.

The truth is through this isn’t a tragedy. There are no reports of loss of life as yet, near a miracle for a building of that size going up. It’s a sadness, certainly, it was and will be a magnificent building. But no, not a tragedy, let’s reserve that for more important matters:

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””] Emmanuel Macron is launching a fund-raising campaign to rebuild Paris’s Notre Dame cathedral as the national landmark continued to smoulder on Tuesday morning after being devastated by an inferno. The catastrophic blaze left a nation mourning the devastation of its cultural and historic “epicentre” and sent shockwaves around the world. Hundreds of firefighters tackled the historic blaze through the night, battling to stop it wreaking complete destruction of the treasured facade after flames torched the roof, sending its spire crashing to the ground before crowds of horrified Parisians. Meanwhile, teams raced to recover what treasures they could from the 850-year-old Gothic masterpiece, which housed priceless artefacts and relics of huge religious and international significance. [/perfectpullquote]

And it really did all go up:

But no reports of injuries as yet:

[perfectpullquote align=”full” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]No injuries have been reported at this stage and authorities are still looking into the cause of the fire, according to French Junior Interior Minister Laurent Nunez.[/perfectpullquote]

A mischance, a sadness, certainly, but not a tragedy. Let’s reserve that word for the infant child shitting itself to death as the diarrhea induced by unclean water strikes. Something that happens half a million times a year. That is, something that happened at least a 100 times as this fire took that building. That is tragic.