The EU Sleeper Agents Emerge

If you ever doubted whether Theresa May was the Manchurian Candidate placed into power by the EU to represent their interests and cripple Brexit, witness how their various familiars have emerged from the shadows to desperately preserve her Premiership.

We have already had Nick Clegg, Cheshire Tony Blair, Justine Greening, William Hague, Dominic Grieve and Peter Mandelson (!) sidling into the light once more in at attempts to save her, like EU sleeper agents activated by the EU now they realise their pet might actually be under threat.

Heaven forbid she is replaced with an actual Brexiteer!

So they have activated their team of Vichy Europhiles – tomorrow no doubt more will emerge.

Alastair Campbell will tell us how important it is that we don’t change Premiers in the midst of negotiations.

Vince Cable will materialise like Old Nick to gravely warn us in sepulchral tones of the woe that will befall us if we put in place a Brexiteer.

Finally, David and Ed Miliband will come ghoulishly tapdancing onto the world stage, announcing with waxen grins that they have reconciled and come together to protect us from the perils of Brexit, by saving Theresa May.

They say you can tell about a man by his enemies.

Perhaps in this case, we can tell about a woman by her friends.