Brexit Kayfabe VIII – I’m An MP, Get Me Out Of Here

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Our MPs hold the future of Europe in their hands.

The European Union and its predecessor the Soviet Union were both generational projects, but the former is now on the brink of stalling – it has run right up to the edge of federation (its own currency, economic union and armed forces), but Brexit has put the brakes on, and has left it trembling on that brink for two years.

And that’s a long time to stay teetering on the brink of anything – the remaining EU members are now getting cold feet too, and the entire project is at risk. Even some Remainers are looking at the European Union and secretly thinking it might be doomed – the stench of death is upon it.

But many Remainers have great faith – they believe very deeply in their supranational dream, and are willing to sacrifice their national sovereignty, their culture, and even their own careers to further these goals. Let’s call this special group “Remaniacs”

Most of the nomenklatura in the EU, most of our MPs, most of our media, and indeed most of the British establishment – all Remainiacs. And they have united in an open conspiracy to keep Britain in the EU, because without us their project is probably doomed.

So for two years they have used our media to relentlessly feed us from the Project Fear menu, in a kind of political bushtucker trial.

We’ve been fed stories about losing money and medicine. We’ve heard about the loss of sandwiches and Mars bars. That our Poodles will be unable to go to Europe, and our Poodle….walkers will be unable to come FROM Europe. That we will run out of water and fish, lose Northern Ireland and Gibraltar, and endure a second referendum. Or worse still, get no Brexit at all.

All just a Project Fear smorgasbord of grim bushtucker fare, designed to get us to do one thing.

Walk out of the Brexit jungle and accept the Withdrawal Agreement that the European Union Treason May has offered us.

Many of our MPs have already done precisely that – forced to leave the jungle by the nauseating diet of scare stories, they will vote for the Withdrawal Agreement.

But as I have said previously, there might be forty stalwarts who have guts and intend to vote against the Withdrawal Agreement no matter what. But they don’t matter – forty Labour Remainiacs stand ready to cross the house and counter those votes.

So unless someone does something dramatic (prorogation anyone?) we are about to endure the final act in a long-running conspiracy one that will trap Great Britain inside a decaying political project as it mutates into the corrupt and authoritarian superstate to which its architects aspired.

The European Union are about to play their final card and sweeten the Withdrawal Agreement for us – watch as they remove the backstop (which they never cared about) and then insist this meaningless concession makes us honour-bound to sign up.

How many of our stupefied countrymen will even notice that despite the European removing the maggots, this deal remains a s**t sandwich?

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Jonathan Harston
Jonathan Harston
6 years ago

If we trimmed the Remainiacs and the Brexitremists from both ends we could have quickly got to either a good Leave or a good Remain which ever way the vote went, but the failure has been in both sides’ policies being driven by the extremes, like when NornIron got fed up with the centrist moderates moderately fudging everybody along moderately, and decided to drop them and vote for the extremes instead.