It could be that not all criminals are in fact masterminds. Actually, all the criminals we’ve ever heard of aren’t as the masterminds are the ones who get away with their crimes. Of whom there are quite a lot – the IQ of the nation’s prison cells averages out at a lot less than the definitional 100 of the general population.
To which we can add this nice little story. So the sheriffs in Pennsylvania have a little local top ten wanted list online. One of whom spots herself there and leaves a comment about herself. The subsequent argument leads her to reveal her whereabouts, which leads to – Yup, You Guessed It – her arrest. Even the Gerald Ford defence isn’t available to her – no football with or without helmet:
Chloe Jones, 23, of Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, was added to the Greene County Sheriff’s Office “Top Ten Wanted” list last month after she failed to appear in court in connection with an assault charge. After spotting herself on the list in a Facebook post as officers hunted her, Jones commented: “Do you guys do pickup or delivery??” Her message was followed by four crying with laughter emojis. Jones then became embroiled in an argument in the comments section over why she hadn’t shown up for court in the first place, defending herself against Facebook users who accused her of immaturity. “There’s nothing funny about seeing yourself on a wanted poster. It’s embarrassing,” one person wrote. “Turn yourself in, be responsible. It’s not too late to turn your life around.” Jones replied on the public page that she hadn’t made it to court because she had been in Ruby Memorial Hospital in Morgantown, West Virginia, at the time. The fugitive added that she had posted her initial comment from there. Jones was arrested at a residence in Morgantown earlier this week.
Schadenfreude is the act of taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others. Sounds about the right reaction to this although I’m not really sure that gleeful schadenfreude really works as a phrase. Although it is, obviously, true that this story would work better if it was about someone from Florida.