Solving Jersey’s Feral Chicken Problem – Import Foodies

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I can’t help but think that Jersey is missing a trick here. All that’s necessary is to import a few foodies to the island and the problem will be solved in short order:

A row has broken out on the largest of the Channel Islands after a cull of 65 chickens was ordered by the government after years of complaints.

It is believed that they were once pets but were dumped in the wild after becoming too unruly and went on to form gangs up to 100 strong, there being no foxes on the island to reduce their number.

Some islanders have been complaining to the authorities for years that the birds have been tormenting them by crowing in the middle of the night and chasing joggers off β€œtheir” territory. They are said to have wrecked gardens and are a danger to traffic when they cross the roads.

We know how to solve these sorts of problems. If the wildlife is getting out of order because of the absence of predators the answer is to import predators to deal with them.

And what would be the correct predator for feral chickens? Foodies of course. Those who rhapsodise about the better flavour of outdoor reared, properly free range, food. And there’s no more free range chicken than a feral one now, is there?

So, hang around Borough Market for a bit, capture a few of the more exotic exemplars and set them free on the island with some stout string to lasso the birds and if we’re feeling generous, a bit of flint and some tinder to set up a cook fire or two.

Now, there is that further problem of course, introduced predators can get out of hand. Australia found that out when they brought the rabbits in to hack away at those feral grasses. Cane toads were meant to eat something or other too. So, we do have to think about the end game, what to do when the feral chickens are hunted out as we desire they will be. But that’s easy enough, we then just cull the now unnecessary predators. After all, some London foodie’s not going to be that difficult to spot and trap and no one at all is going to worry about their fate now, are they?

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Bernie G.Michael van der RietjghSnarkusTim Worstall Recent comment authors
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Snarkus
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Snarkus

Tim, come on. You are usually more informed on matters than inaccuracies about the recurring Oz habit of importing pests. A fool Army Major let the damned rabbits loose for a bit of fun hunting. Likewise b** foxes. Then complained the local farmers were against it. Probably rabbits would have got loose eventually but still. The cane toads were being assessed for effectiveness in controlling cane beetles by the CSIR, forerunner of the CSIRO. An idiot cut the wire fence and let the toxic toads loose, before the uselessness of the toads was known, let alone their destructive nature in… Read more »

Snarkus
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Snarkus

However, recently on the outskirts of Sydneyy a similar problem existed. A suburb had had feral chooks living in surrounding scrub for decades. Some NIMBYs’ complained so the locql council killed them, despite the long tern locals regarding the wild chooks as pleasant local oddity. I would like to know how they survived the foxes. Would have been decent breeding stock for hardy hens.

jgh
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jgh

I keep saying we could solve my town’s seagull problem if somebody would promote cooking them.

Michael van der Riet
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Michael van der Riet

In Dances With Wolves the hero played by Kevin Costner solved his mouse infestation problem by trapping them to eat. That got their respect.

Bernie G.
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Bernie G.

Thank-you. Haven’t had a chuckle in days.