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Beauty Quotas

A few years from now, it will be decided that handsome men are under-represented in the world of professional rugby, and an effort will be made to redress this injustice.

Handsome men from all over the UK will try out, and due to quotas, will start making it into the starting line-up.

The performance of the team will deteriorate a little of course, but the righting of the societal injustice will be deemed more important than whether a rugby team wins a trophy.

And as the sponsorship of the team by woke advertisers starts to rise, so they will hire more handsome men, and so their performance will deteriorate further.

Teams that have too few handsome men will start to be called out by brave woke campaigners against injustice, and they will come under pressure to hire more handsome men.

Slowly, as performances deteriorate across the sport, the fans will drift away.

And the brave woke campaigners will indignantly claim this as evidence that the fans of the sport are inherently prejudiced against handsome men.

No-one will ask the fans why they are no longer attending the games.

Eventually, the unfit, slow, weak, uncoordinated games of rugby will come to be know disparagingly by the few remaining fans as “Fumbleball”, which the brave woke campaigners will campaign against. In a landmark case, the term “fumbleball” will be deemed hate speech and the law changed to outlaw its use.

On penalty of death.

The last few fans will leave the sport, and the sport of rugby will end – the Guardian will unironically dispatch a journalist to write about how this wonderful sport was killed off by bigots.

The brave woke campaigners will be knighted for services to social justice, and will begin their new campaign against injustice and inequality – the campaign for more quadriplegic ballerinas.

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4 years ago

Good God. If it gets that bad, maybe even I’ll be offered a position in a beauty contest!!

4 years ago

Have a look at “Harrison Bergeron” by Vonnegut. There have been a few cases where people have started down this path. A former French President suggested that homework should be abolished because it discriminated against homeless kids. And a columnist in the U.S. questioned whether you were giving your kids an unfair advantage by reading to them every night. The logical extension of which is, you should treat your kids no better than the most retched kid on Earth.

Quentin Vole
Quentin Vole
4 years ago
Reply to  Esteban

Every teacher I’ve discussed it with has agreed that the most significant factor in determining success/failure (however measured) at school is having parents that give a shit vs those that don’t. The only way to avoid this ‘discrimination’ is to remove babies from their parents at 18 months and have them raised by the state. Don’t imagine the Corbynistas haven’t thought of it.

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