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Oh Yes, Juncker Has Sciatica, He Wasn’t Drunk At All

It’s great that the European Union has been able to put inquiring minds to rest. That they’ve been able to correct the scurrilous gossip floating around in this era of fake news. The tentacles of that menace being such that actual individuals, employees of the European Union, have said directly to me that they’ve met Juncker steaming drunk at 10 am in the morning. Such evil cannot be allowed to stand of course, the very idea that a President of Europe could be a dipso is ridiculous. So, good to see that the press office has been able to put matters straight:

The EU has denied “insulting” suggestions that European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker was drunk at this week’s NATO summit, saying he was suffering from sciatica.

The 63-year-old was seen to be unsteady on his feet at the summit dinner in Brussels on Wednesday evening, and had to be helped away in a wheelchair.

The prime ministers of the Netherlands and Portugal, Mark Rutte and Antonio Costa, helped prop him up.

The BBC is a little more restrained:

Mr Juncker’s wobbly walk prompted media speculation about his health

There has long been – scurrilous though it is – concern about the health of his liver but now we know that it’s sciatica we can put all that to rest.

Of course, it’s entirely fair to point out that Churchill was, if we use modern measures and parlance, a drunk. But then he did seem to have some nous, talent, and he did manage to beat the Germans.

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Pat
Pat
2 years ago

Embrace the healing power of “and”

ManOfBath
ManOfBath
2 years ago

It takes me back to the good old days of the Soviet Union where they would swear blind that an old member of the polit bureau hadn’t died. The behaviour of the EU is similar to the USSR in many ways.

northernmonkey
northernmonkey
2 years ago

The best comment I saw on twitter:

He has sciatica, three bottles of red wine make it flare up.

Tom
Tom
2 years ago

Wasn’t he just ‘tired and emotional’?

Spike
2 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Whether or not, he should pre-empt the disclosure of more details by announcing he is Entering Rehab.

Quentin Vole
Quentin Vole
2 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I confidently expect ‘suffering from sciatica’ to join ‘tired and emotional’ in the Private Eye lexicon. Which is rather unfair on genuine sciatica sufferers.

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
2 years ago

I suffer from something similar to sciatica and he wouldn’t be walking like that nor would his facial features be so bland, he’d be in tears.

Hector Drummond
2 years ago

It’s sciatica o’clock.

Hector Drummond
2 years ago

It’s sciatica o’clock.

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