The idiot Henry Dimbleby tells us – in a quote that’s being picked up around the place – that there’s something wrong with the British food system because:
It is bizarre, but not really surprising, that in the UK you can buy 28 different kinds of KitKat.
No, really, and?
Which is the bit that he doesn’t go into. Nor does he try to come up with some reason why there shouldn’t be variations on a theme. White chocolate, plain, milk, with peanut or without – there must be more variations than that and if Mr. KitKat wishes I’ll supply an address so we can do a proper taste test out here.
But again, and?
It’s as with Bernie Sanders and his worry that there are 18 underarm deodorants. Choice is a problem because?
If it were true that the eating of one – say white chocco – KitKat did not displace the eating of some other – say plain chocco – KitKat then OK, perhaps we’d have a slight sort of worry here. For instead of people eating the one they’ll be eating the 28 with each little cup of tea and a five minute sitdown.
This is not, obviously, how it works. Now, having smelled a few, does the availability of 18 deodorants mean Americans use 18 of them.
A KitKat of a different flavour is a substitute for one of another flavour, not a complement to it.
Just to try to beat this point home. From the menu of Dimbleby’s restaurant chain:
FISH FINGERS (Pollock (Fish), Fortified Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin), Rapeseed Oil, Water, Cornflour, Wheat Semolina , Rice Flour, Yeast, Salt, Wheat Gluten, Sunflower Oil, White Pepper, Dried Garlic, Dried Onion WHITE KHOBEZ (Fortified Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Calcium Carbonate (E170), Iron, Nicotinamide (Vit B3), Thiamine, Hydrochloride (Vit B1)), Water, Yeast, Sugar, Salt, Carrier: E516 Calcium Sulphate), QUINOA TARTARE (Rapeseed Oil, Cooked Quinoa, Free Range Egg, Capers (Water, Sea Salt), Lemon Juice, White Wine Vinegar, Horseradish, Gherkins (Gherkins, Water, Spirit Vinegar, Sugar, Salt), Dijon Mustard (Water, Mustard Seeds, Spirit Vinegar, Salt), Water, Fructose, Lemon, Parsley, Dill, Salt, Cornflour, Black Pepper, Concentrated Lemon Juice), COS LETTUCE, GHERKINS (Gherkins, Water, Spirit Vinegar, Salt).
Doesn’t using pollock mean that the eater will then go crazed to eat cod, haddock, john dory and 24 other types of fish? There are more than 28 types of lettuce so doesn’t the inclusion of one mean 27 more will be scarfed down?
No, of course it doesn’t, the man’s being a twat in search of a tagline.
But there’s more to it as well. For the entire purpose of this economy thing, this civilisation, is that people gain more of what they desire. And if peanut butter KitKats is part of that then peanut butter KitKats are part of that. Just as cod heavy or pollock heavy fish fingers are part of that.
More choice means that we all get closer to sating our – our, individual and unique – desires.
So the man’s not just being a twat he’s being ignorant. 28 types of KitKat is the aim and purpose of the whole game. You know, increasing the utility of the consumer by the consumer’s own definitions of their increased utility?
Ah, yes, oops, sorry, forgot. He’s an elitist, isn’t he? Insisting that he and he alone knows what the proles should be doing. And if they won’t do it voluntarily then we must jolly well force them into it.
At least Woolton had a decent reason for forcing those pies upon us……
And someone really must ask him the question – what is the right number of the types of KitKat available?