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KFC does not have a chicken shortage – it has a management drought

This lovely story of Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets in the UK not having any, erm, chicken, is producing more than its fair share of foolishness. There are actually people complaining to the police about it all. Which, given the rather large number of alternative outlets willing to provide dead bird to the consumer does seem a tad de trop:

There was panic on the streets of London as the ‘KFC crisis’ rolled into its fourth day, with more than half of its 900 UK stores closed due to a chicken shortage.

Frustrated chicken lovers resorted to contacting their MPs and calling the police, who warned “fried chicken is not a police matter”.

Panic really does seem to be just a little too much.

Which brings us to what is actually happening here. There is no chicken shortage. None at all. There are still tens of millions of the birds fattening up to be fried, enough dead bodies around to be supplying the stores and so on. What has actually happened is that KFC has changed the company they use to ferry them to the shops. And that’s it really.

Well, except, the company they’re using. That’s DHL, now owned by DeutschePost. Yep, the Germans. And we’re not supposed to mention the war these days but that was one of the great failures of the Wermacht, they never really did get logistics properly sorted out. The great KFC shortage is brought to you by the people who couldn’t get overcoats to soldiers in Russia in winter. Not really something to report to the police although the historians might be interested.

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Ducky McDuckface
Ducky McDuckface
3 years ago

Panic in the streets of London?

What about Birmingham?

Fake stereotypical leftist
Fake stereotypical leftist
3 years ago

Isn’t this proof that private capitalism has failed miserably? That we leave something this essential in the hands of profiteers, who get rich by starving the populace, is unacceptable in this progressive age. The government should step in to manage this situation immediately! Longer term, the government should be managing the entire food supply chain, as many other regimes have done in the past. The further failure of capitalism this illustrates is that the masses are being fed (or now, not fed) culturally appropriated, racist food that is also not good for them. Even the evil tories agree that we… Read more »

Spike
Spike
3 years ago

Ah, but OP says this function was not left in the hands of profiteers but of Germans! Yes, bring in government; we have never known government to fortify its own position by starving large numbers of people, have we?

Nutritionists are now in firm control of food product labels, but I’m waiting for a scholarly paper that explains how devising a balanced menu requires at least a four-year degree and cannot be left in the hands of individual eaters.

Bloke in Germany
Bloke in Germany
3 years ago
Reply to  Spike

I knew someone would be sufficient drumsticks short of a bargain bucket to swallow it!

Fred Z
Fred Z
3 years ago

Corbyn Fried Chicken? “CFC”?

Sounds good, kinda catchy, until he starts charging 50 pounds per wing and they’re made out of chopped and formed chicken parts.

Jim
Jim
3 years ago

“What about Birmingham?”

And Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee and Humberside?

Casual Intruder
Casual Intruder
3 years ago
Reply to  Jim

Birmingham had its own crisis when ASDA ran out of Sunny Delight.

Southerner
3 years ago

Perhaps the left wing doesn’t know what the right wing is doing?

Hallowed Be
Hallowed Be
3 years ago

luftwaffe was just as bad. Overpromising under delivering. Goering promised a 300 tonnes a day “airbridge” to supply the stalingrad encirclement. Didn’t average anything like that.

tommo
tommo
3 years ago

I recently found out that my local KFC in Rotherham is Halal only. I won’t be buying there again.

wat dabney
wat dabney
3 years ago

Substitute good: “Chicken of the cave.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=503PjdVAo2Q

dearieme
dearieme
3 years ago

Let ’em eat Guinea Fowl.

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
3 years ago

Isn’t KFC a franchise chain? In which case, KFC itself is basically a logistics business.

Warren Platts
Warren Platts
3 years ago

Let them eat chlorinated chicken!

Jim
Jim
3 years ago

“What about Birmingham?”

And Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee and Humberside?

Casual Intruder
Casual Intruder
3 years ago
Reply to  Jim

Birmingham had its own crisis when ASDA ran out of Sunny Delight.

Fake stereotypical leftist
Fake stereotypical leftist
3 years ago

Isn’t this proof that private capitalism has failed miserably? That we leave something this essential in the hands of profiteers, who get rich by starving the populace, is unacceptable in this progressive age. The government should step in to manage this situation immediately! Longer term, the government should be managing the entire food supply chain, as many other regimes have done in the past. The further failure of capitalism this illustrates is that the masses are being fed (or now, not fed) culturally appropriated, racist food that is also not good for them. Even the evil tories agree that we… Read more »

Spike
Spike
3 years ago

Ah, but OP says this function was not left in the hands of profiteers but of Germans! Yes, bring in government; we have never known government to fortify its own position by starving large numbers of people, have we?

Nutritionists are now in firm control of food product labels, but I’m waiting for a scholarly paper that explains how devising a balanced menu requires at least a four-year degree and cannot be left in the hands of individual eaters.

Bloke in Germany
Bloke in Germany
3 years ago
Reply to  Spike

I knew someone would be sufficient drumsticks short of a bargain bucket to swallow it!

Fred Z
Fred Z
3 years ago

Corbyn Fried Chicken? “CFC”?

Sounds good, kinda catchy, until he starts charging 50 pounds per wing and they’re made out of chopped and formed chicken parts.

Southerner
3 years ago

Perhaps the left wing doesn’t know what the right wing is doing?

dearieme
dearieme
3 years ago

Let ’em eat Guinea Fowl.

Ducky McDuckface
Ducky McDuckface
3 years ago

Panic in the streets of London?

What about Birmingham?

Hallowed Be
Hallowed Be
3 years ago

luftwaffe was just as bad. Overpromising under delivering. Goering promised a 300 tonnes a day “airbridge” to supply the stalingrad encirclement. Didn’t average anything like that.

tommo
tommo
3 years ago

I recently found out that my local KFC in Rotherham is Halal only. I won’t be buying there again.

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
3 years ago

Isn’t KFC a franchise chain? In which case, KFC itself is basically a logistics business.

Warren Platts
Warren Platts
3 years ago

Let them eat chlorinated chicken!

wat dabney
wat dabney
3 years ago

Substitute good: “Chicken of the cave.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=503PjdVAo2Q

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