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I Was Meeting a FRIEND! Duh.

I went into a pub last week.

Not to buy anything – I was just meeting a friend there.

And then after a while I needed to use the toilet.

And guess what they said?

Get this – they said “I’m sorry sir, but the facilities are reserved for patrons. If you want to use the facilities, you’ll have to buy something”

I couldn’t believe my ears.

I assumed they were joking, and went and used the toilet anyway, and when I came out the manager was waiting for me – he insisted that I’d been told the use of the facilities was reserved for customers, and by disregarding that policy I was breaking the rules of their establishment.

And then she asked me to leave.

I literally could not believe it – what a bitch!

Anyway, I couldn’t leave, because I was meant to be meeting a friend there – I told her all this and she got really annoyed and told me that I was “taking the piss”, whatever that means.

So I put my headphones in and sat down to wait for my friend – she was still talking but I couldn’t hear her, so I just waved her away.

Next thing I know, the crazy bitch has called the police and they are asking me whether I had ignored the policies of the establishment – they were being all official and s**t.

So I told them what I told the manager – I had to use the toilet because I really needed to take a leak, and I couldn’t leave because I was meeting a friend there. It’s as if they couldn’t understand me – they behaved as if I was the one being unreasonable.

Anyway, once I told the police that I couldn’t leave, they started insisting that I was now trespassing and that if I didn’t leave I’d be arrested. I tried to explain to them really clearly that I COULD NOT leave, because I was meeting a friend, but they literally didn’t seem to care – what is wrong with these people?

The manager was still there looking all angry and just asking me why I didn’t leave when I was asked to, as if I hadn’t explained to her SEVERAL times that I was meeting someone.

At this point the police actually started to put handcuffs on me, but then thank goodness – my friend arrived. He realised straight away what was happening – they were just persecuting me for being ginger.

He filmed the whole thing and put it on the internet, and suddenly all these people were being really understanding about the whole thing – THEY at least seemed to understand that I had needed to take a leak, was waiting for a friend, and the manager was just being a total bitch.

It’s all fine now though – they let me go and now the manager is going to have to do sensitivity training for how to deal with ginger people. They are even closing thousands of pubs around the country to make sure everyone knows how to deal with gingers.

About time.

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3 years ago

What does “loitering” mean? Yeah, the only plausible explanation is that the publican took one look at me and realized that his best goal for the day was to persecute me and anyone who looks like me. It’s got to be his fault! Now why, when I can drop $1 at the gas station for a coffee (any size, with a dozen flavor dispensers) would I go across to Starbuck’s and pay $3 for coffee-with-sanctimony — even on a day when the employees aren’t instructed to write corporate Green slogans on my cup? (Alex, while this outrageous news has probably… Read more »

3 years ago

Now Starbuck’s is getting pranked by Free Coffee coupons “Limited to persons of African American heritage and/or identity.” @Hotep_Jesus has posted a video of himself going to a Starbuck’s and saying, “I heard y’all was racist, so I came to get my free coffee.” It is COSMIC JUSTICE when someone plays a prank on such a sanctimonious business. It almost makes up for New York City officials calling Chick-Fil-A every name except “white interlopers.”

Bloke on M4
Bloke on M4
3 years ago

My problem with this story is that I wouldn’t expect any less than to be kicked out of Starbucks if I said to a waitress that I’d brought my own, so didn’t need a drink. I then wouldn’t expect any less than to be arrested when the police arrived and asked me to leave and I refused.

3 years ago

Billy Cunningham, in his syndicated Sunday night radio talk show, has researched this. This Starbuck’s clientele is mostly nonwhite, its employees are mostly not white males, the corporation had told it to crack down on the problem of loitering, and there were so many steps and warnings between these two guys’ decision to loiter and the police arrest that it is likely they were trolling the place, and are now looking for a big-bucks settlement from Corporate, which may be forthcoming, now that it has thrown its local manager under the bus.

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